Story after Endah n Rhesa

Last night I watched Endah n Rhesa at  Greenovation’s appreciation night in Taman Melingkar Universitas Indonesia. Greenovation itself is an event, which held by Kompas Kampus, part of Kompas and concern about Youth and green environment. 

Endah n Rhesa is an indie band. They’re couple husband and wife. Rhesa is the vocalist. I like her voice. Unique and hard to forget. Their songs are also wonderful. Most of their songs is about love and their own experiences. I did enjoy the night. Their performance was amazing. The combination of Rhesa’s voice, her acoustic guitar and bass, which played by her husband was so amazing. Wind’s blowing and light’s sparkling made the night completely perfect. That’s my first time watching them live. And I love it. 

So the story’s begun…

Part of their fourth or fifth song’s lyric is this,

“When you love someone just be brave to say that you want him to be with you…”

When they sang this, I didn’t know why but F’s face just appeared in mind. I guessed, I liked him, at least for that time, that what I felt. Then, I thought I should let him know it. I don’t want him to be with me, not that far. But the first nine words inspired me. For me, nothing wrong about telling someone that I like him. His response is not my problem. I didn’t care what would happen after that. 

Spontaneity, I wrote him message on social network. 

“Tonight I just watched Endah n Rhesa. They sang, when you love someone just be brave to say… That’s what I do. I don’t love you, but I like you. At least for the minute they’re singing this song. It’s spontaneity. Don’t take it seriously.” 

Message sent…

I breathed a sigh of relief. I kept this feeling for a few months and it was hurtful. Although I was not sure, whether I really liked or just liked him, but it kept disturbing me. It’s like I had top secret, not only in my mind but also in my heart. So, double hurts. But, now I am feeling great. No regret at all. I just let it go by telling him. Incredibly, it makes me feel better. This proves that actually in my deepest heart, I don’t like him that much. I just admire him, maybe due to his cute baby-face, friendly and nice behavior, smartness and the difference between us, like religion, ethnic, Etc. 

(I like differences. Meeting someone and something new is always making me on fire because somehow they lead me to see and to have new perspective and knowledge).

If after this, he’ll act different or we’ll get further from each other, I won’t pay too much attention on that, because what I did was just to please and satisfied myself. I did it for me.

PS. this morning when I woke up and remembered what I did, I feel so… FREE. 

Thanks to Endah n Rhesa. I like your songs.